HELPSY VOICES: wellness, ethical fashion, sustainability, stories and awesome life advice from real people

By Mary Imgrund

If you’ve been to a health food store anytime since 2015, you’ve likely come across the effervescent, fermented kombucha tea drink; a fermented concoction boasting pre- and pro-biotic benefits along with a host of other claims of kombucha health benefits. Though some claims are truer than others (it does help with gut health but I’m not so sure about increasing 'life force') this expensive drink has a cult following that I am wholeheartedly behind. I stopped drinking soda years ago because of its detrimental health affects and less than sustainable production lines. Kombucha seemed like a better alternative. Though I realized my ‘buch was made in small batches and is organic, it was still produced a few states away and shipped to me, producing waste in its shipping and container.

I think we, as western people, are so disconnected from the production process things we consume that we sometimes just assume they sprang forth from the shelves on which they sit. So I dove deeper into the 'buch culture (pun intended) and grabbed some mason jars, adopted a SCOBY (acronym for symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast), and got to work.

This article is meant just as a primer. There’s so much to learn about home brewing kombucha. I'd always been curious about kombucha and after drinking it for years. When I finally took the DIY plunge I found it to be much easier than anticipated.

The basic idea of kombucha is it’s a “living” drink, meaning the SCOBY eats and drinks the tea and sugar you feed it, and turns the drink into a tart, healthy mixture of tea and good bacteria—the kind that will keep your gut happy. I think of my SCOBY as small, slimy pets, not unlike salamanders. They’re actually pretty much exactly like the Tribbles in Star Trek: The Original Series. They need all the same things a real pet would: food in the form of sugar, oxygen, a nice warm environment, and some light. So what that means for you is that you should first brew sweet tea, let it come to a temperature that’s slightly warmer than room temperature, then plop your colony in it. My first big mistake was being impatient with the water and putting my SCOBY in too early. This burns the little babies and eventually kills the culture, which allows mold to grow (dangerous).

Image via Kitchn

When making a batch, try to find a big glass container. Glass is not only nontoxic, it’s also a cheap and sustainable option to find vintage or thrifted containers. Once your sweet tea is brewed and cool enough for the SCOBY, make sure to 'ban' all the bad bacteria by adding in either a small amount of your last batch of kombucha or, if you don’t have that, adding a small amount of white vinegar. Remember to place a breathable top on top container, a paper towel or breathable cloth will do fine. Your SCOBY will either sink or float. The kombucha is finished when a second SCOBY appears across the top, creating a natural lid. Then you have double the SCOBY for twice the brewing fun. You can compost the SCOBY, even eat them (I am not brave enough to try this yet), some say you can even make clothes out of SCOBY. To make the brew fizzy you can put it in a smaller enclosed container for a secondary fermentation for a few days.

Home brewing will not only save you money but it will reduce waste by using ingredients you already have (not counting the first SCOBY you will need to buy or adopt) to make a healthy, tasty treat. Making one’s own products is empowering, and breaks us from a wasteful production. So, go forth, new home brewers, and enjoy the magic drink you can make with a little bit of love and a lot of bacteria.

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I use these lingerie mists from Little Shop Of Oils to extend the life of my handmade delicates by spraying in-between washes

By Mary Imgrund

According to Fashion Revolution, just doubling the lifespan of your clothes from one to two years reduces emissions by 24%. If you’re not familiar with the Fashion Revolution and Fashion Revolution Day, you should visit their page to learn more about their mission to ask the fast fashion industry “who made my clothes?”. Ethical fashion is more than just buying second hand or from sustainable sources. It’s as much about investing in pieces that are both well made, fit you great, and that you really enjoy wearing. The discipline of learning to only buy what you love, feel confidant it and will use over and over is difficult, especially when the industry churns out trends directly markets to our “need it now” appetite. It's also very liberating to have a super organized closet and to know what you own so you don't buy the same things over and over. But once you do learn to “Buy less. Choose well.”, the other huge part of sustainable fashion is preserving your clothing as long as possible. After all, finding that perfect dress might take months of looking, and you’ll want to make it last.

The first step is finding a good place to have your pieces hemmed, taken in, and altered. Replacing a button or having a coat re-lined is more sustainable (and cost effective) than purchasing new items, and a timely hem can save you from ruining skirts. I’ve gone to both high and low-end tailors and I haven’t seen a noticeable difference in quality, though I do still take more substantial work to the more expensive tailor because I feel I have more recourse if I dislike the results.

Hanging your clothes to dry isn't just sustainable, it is more gentle on your clothes

Reconsider your clothes washing and drying habits. Avoid the drier! This not only saves energy but it is so much easier on your clothes. Most of your clothing probably prefers to be washed delicately, anyway. Most lingerie should be hand washed or washed on delicate in a garment bag. Any garment that has built in stretch from spandex (most underwear, many jeans, all stretch pants, check your tags!!) will degrade quickly and lose shape from being put through a dry cycle. Most jeans and other pants can go more than a few wears before washing and should be air-dried. Try to avoid washing as long as possible, then use the coldest wash and lowest dry necessary. Many people think light colors need to be washed in heat and lights and darks need to be separated. This is just not true. If a dark item is brand new, by all means DO separate it from lights. But If a dark item has been washed many times, it can go in with the lights without staining them. All colors can be washed with cold water, saving exponential amounts of energy and getting clothes just as clean. Almost 90% of energy from washers goes into heating the water! Most things can and should be air-dried, with exceptions towels or other items that become stiff when air-drying or take too long to dry in humid climates and get mildew-y.

Take care of your shoes using professional cleaning and treating products

Store your clothing with care! This means investing in good hangers with a slight grip such as the ones with velvet or cloth. This keeps the clothes from sliding around, stretching out, and putting unnecessary strain on straps. Also, don’t over-stuff your closet: clothes need room to breath. When stored in crowded circumstances, they’ll more easily catch on each other and pill. Shoes should be kept in their boxes to help keep them dust and scuff free. Also, invest in garment bags and moth protection. Moths LOVE wool, cashmere, alpaca and they will eat tiny holes in your garments, ruining them. Buy mothballs, or the less odor offensive cedar blocks, put them in the bottom of your garment bags, zip them up and hope for the best!

Basically, you should baby your clothes. Treat them well, and they’ll love you for years. Clothes that fit you, speak to your personal style, and that are made to last are key to a minimalist wardrobe. Owning less clothing makes you not only love and appreciate what you do have, without all that cramming and overflowing, you’ll actually physically be able to see what you own! Knowing and loving what you own will help you be much more considerate when you go to add new pieces.

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By Patience Domowski, LCSW

I’m a Christian middle class masters-degreed professional woman. And I’m single. I have all the other stuff going on in my life for me—I have a great job (I’m a child behavioral therapist), I even own my own company along with working full time for another practice. I have friends. I have pets. I have a great faith and am involved in my church. I have a car. I have a house. But I don’t have a husband. Or even a boyfriend. So I did what everyone suggests you do when you aren’t meeting anyone significant in ‘real life’, you try online dating.

I didn’t date in high school because I was homeschooled and we didn’t live in West Virginia. I didn’t date in college either. I went to a private, mostly female, Christian college. I had some minor crushes here and there but nothing ever panned out. After college I went to grad school and when I was finishing up I decided to give online dating a shot since I didn’t seem to be having any luck otherwise. I tried a free Christian dating site and I was really lucky—hashtag blessed. Immediagely I met my first boyfriend. I thought ‘wow online dating really worked!’! But it didn’t last long, we broke up just a few months later because we were just at very different places in our lives. I was starting my career and he was just finishing undergrad.

I let online dating go for a while. I checked on the same site once in a while but only got proposals from men in Africa. A little later I ended up dating a guy from church who I’d known for a while as a friend. I told him I liked him at an event and apparently he knew already which was a little embarrassing. He agreed to date but unfortunately he was gay. He wanted to date a woman though so we gave it a shot. Obviously it didn’t work. We were really just friends and I wanted more.

At the recommendation of several friends who said online dating was working well for them, I tried it once again. But this time I decided go big or go home. I went for the big guns—eharmony. Per the ads you will definitely meet the love of your life because of their super special proprietary algorithm. What really happened is I was just matched with all the Christian guys in a 20 mile radius. Still, I gave it a try, about 6 months. I talked to a couple guys but they both cancelled our plans last minute. What was most frustrating was all the work and effort I put into emailing and responding and all the hope I had! It was kind of a huge waste of time and left me honestly heartbroken. I felt like I’d never find anyone and no one wanted me. It impacted my self-esteem and it also didn’t help all my younger siblings were getting married and dating and I wasn’t.

By the way, I didn’t find being a Christian caused too much trouble with online dating. Although I’m not sure everyone who responded to my online profiles was the same kind of Christian (born again/evangelical protestant) as I am. But that’s OK. I also didn’t find my wanting to wait for sex until marriage to be a big problem. I still was open and interested in kissing, etc but I just didn’t let it go too far. That never seemed to be a problem with the guys I dated. They respected my decision even if some had already had sex in the past.

A year or so later, out of the blue, this guy I had known for ages from church asked me out. We dated for the next year and half. It was the best relationship I’d ever had and my self-esteem soared. I was confident this was IT, that I could finally relax, settle down, and have babies—my dream! But then came to a crashing halt and we suddenly broke up. I was fuzzy on the reason why. He just said we had ‘differences’ that ‘wouldn’t work’. I was willing to be flexible and work things out but he wasn’t. After I got over my initial anger and disappointment I was able to see that he was right. It was just not going to work out—we just didn’t see eye-to-eye on some things that would be problematic later on. We were still attracted to each other and still friends so we did discuss getting back together a few times but it never really happened. It was probably for the best, though it was hard at the time.

At this point I was in my late 20’s and though I hadn’t dated much at all I was kind of reluctant to even try again. But at the encouragement of a girlfriend we both signed up for ChristianMingle and gave that a shot for a few months. My friend met someone and, while initially reluctant, he slowly grew on her and they got married a few years later. I was surprised that I met someone pretty quickly too. We dated for about three months but the relationship wasn’t the best. He didn’t have time for me and we struggled to agree on a lot of things, mostly because he was pretty inflexible. He wanted me to fit into his life and I wanted him to at least be willing to give up something for me, if I had to give up everything for him. I needed more fairness. By the end he was trying to convince me that he wasn’t the right guy for me and we mutually decided to let it go.

Now I felt like I was really done with dating, especially online dating. I tried meeting people IRL--flirting with guys I met, talking to plenty of people, attending a variety of get-togethers, mingles, and events mostly through church and friends parties, etc. After a year or so of not meeting anyone, I attempted to go solo and adopt. I always wanted children and I really care about orphans but really long story short it didn’t work out. Instead I got a dog, who is a handful with some behavior issues but he’s very protective and more faithful than any boyfriend I’ve ever had!

Since then I went back on my word and tried a few dating apps (Coffee Meets Bagel, Selective Singles, the list goes on). But I wasn’t getting any responses so I deleted them. My sister told me she was on Tinder and encouraged me to give it a shot. I thought it was just for hookups and was NOT interested that. She said she actually kept meeting guys who want to get married and finally talked me into giving it a try. I put in my profile I was looking for something serious, wanted a Christian man, etc. I got more responses than I expected. A few clearly wouldn’t work, many didn’t respond to me, and some just never followed through with dates or plans. I did meet two or three guys in person. One I talked to on the phone because I was sick so he cancelled our in-person date and kept cursing and making me really uncomfortable. Bye-bye! Another date I went on was with someone clearly below my intellectual level and was not in a place for marriage and a family. He insisted he was, despite having a minimal income and living with his parents at 30 something. The most promising guy I met was ‘too busy’ to schedule a date and finally I stopped texting him after a week of unresponsiveness. He wasn’t taking it seriously.

Around this time I randomly saw an ad in a magazine for a one-day workshop with tips for online dating. I thought, ‘why not give it a shot?’ Maybe I had done something wrong in the past or something was wrong with my approach or my profile? I went to the workshop but it was cancelled so the matchmaker running it met me in person. I got a $200 consult for free! She gave me great tips on making an online profile, what to say to ‘hook’ or interest a guy online, what to say on the phone to get a date, what to say during the first date, how to get a second date and more. She also gave me tips on what to say to ask a guy out in person if I met someone in real life, without it being really awkward. All her advice sounded amazing! She assured me that there was nothing wrong with me and that it was the process that needed adjusting. She also convinced me to give Match.com a go since it has more people than the other sites and she had seen more success with it.

‘What’s the harm?’ I decided and made a Match.com profile. I paid for 6 months and I tried all her tips. I messaged a lot of guys. A LOT. Like a 100 or something in the first month. I tried messaging her way (clever question to ask the guy to get his interest). I tried my way (asking them about something I noticed/liked in their profile). I got professional photos taken by my photographer friend. I even paid extra for Match to make my profile better! And I got nothing. Crickets. Just a few messages here and there that went nowhere. I had one date the entire six months! I mean the date went OK but wasn’t super attracted to the guy, although when I found out he was formerly Amish I was instantly more interested. I’ve always been interested in Amish culture in terms of learning more about it, not joining. We talked a few times but he never scheduled another date. He said he was interested but then just claimed again to be ‘too busy’. I was willing to wait a bit but when he didn’t set anything up after a week I just let it go.

I recently deleted my account.

This all leaves me with a lot of questions. Why are guys on dating sites if they are too busy for a relationship? Why do they say they want a serious relationship and then mention sex on the first conversation? Why do they say they are ready for marriage but don’t have their career or even housing even figured out? Why are they online dating if they aren’t going to respond (even with just a polite ‘no thank you’) to people’s messages? Why are so many guys so inflexible? It seems to me that they just want a girl to fit into their existing lives but are in no way willing to fit into her life, much less mold two lives together.

So here I am. Still single. Still a virgin. Still an awesome woman! I don’t think there is anything wrong with me. I don’t think I’m doing ‘the process’ wrong—I just think I haven’t found the right person. I’ve decided not to let online dating affect my self-esteem anymore so I’m done with online dating. (I know! I’ve said that before!)

Currently there aren’t really options right now within my friend group or church, but who knows what the future will bring? For now I’m still hopeful and I’m sure I’ll find the ‘right guy’. I know God has the right person for me out there somewhere. Maybe ‘the one’ is not ready yet—perhaps he needs more time to mature before I meet him or maybe it’s just not the right time. Maybe God’s teaching me Patience, pun intended.

While I’m waiting for God to get my future husband ready I think I might go ahead and have a kid soon by myself. Why not? I know I’ll be a wonderful mother! Also it would take away any pressure from future dating not having to worry about my “bio clock” and rushing a relationship because I want to have a family soon. I have always wanted children and while two parents are ideal, I’m sure Daddy will come along at some point. I really still think there’s someone out there for me but I’m working on being content with being single. I’m trying to just enjoy it and just relax. This doesn’t mean I’ve given up on a relationship. I’ve just stopped looking. God will just have to bring him to me when he’s ready and I’ll be ready for when that day comes.

Patience Domowski is a licensed Behavioral Therapist and children's book author. You can check out her work here: website, Facebook, author page.

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1. Ivanka Trump’s Cothing line not in line with father’s made in USA principals, out of step with industry trends, Washington Post

On inauguration day as Trump said, “We must follow two simple rules- buy American, hire American,” a shipping container carrying around 500 pounds of foreign-made Ivanka Trump spandex-knit blouses set sail. In addition, another 10 ships hauling Ivanka Trump-branded shoes, cardigans and leather handbags were US bound, coming from the coasts of Malta, Malaysia, Japan, South Korea and Yemen.

Global water resources are scarce and often polluted, especially in third world countries who produce the majority of our garments. The fashion industry is looking at ways they can collaborate with governments and improve this issue. Companies like Noorism are using post-consumer denim waste, one of the most water intensive textiles, to save water and spare materials from landfills.

3. Model Rain Dove schools Vogue about gender fluidity and how they got their recent cover with Gigi Hadid & Zayn Malik all wrong, Mic.com

4. The world has made more than 9 billion tons of plastic, says new study, CNBC

5. Behind The Campaign To Achieve Gender Parity In Politics By 2030, HuffPost

SheShouldRun group announced 250Kby2030, a campaign which aims to achieve gender parity in politics by 2030. There are 500,000 elected positions in the U.S. ― of which women currently make up less than 25 percent. The group promotes and supports women to become leaders in their communities and run for office.

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This piece is the first in a series on cannabis by Olivia Harris, the Chief Creative Officer at LEVO. Prior to LEVO, Olivia founded OH Creative + Co., focusing on brand strategy & creative direction for emerging designers. She is on a constant quest for the newest + coolest.

With the increasing footprint of legalization of Marijuana throughout the states, weed paraphernalia is quickly becoming very design-y. Move over Dancing Bears and dreadlocks, garish neon weed leaves and rudimentary metal and glass pieces, these new instruments are C.H.I.C. No matter your propensity for partaking of the herb, these new pieces are visually worthy of a place on your mantle or even as an accessory to an outfit. - Rachel Kibbe

Summerland Ceramics

Bongs get a serious upgrade with these pieces by Cali based Summerland Ceramics. I’ve been keeping an eye on them since their first release- a line of sleek, clean pieces that are perfect coffee table swag. Their new artist series takes it to the next level- you can buy one of-a-kind pieces by various artists as part of their “Slow Moves” collection for $350/a pop. It’s hard to pick favorites but I’m currently lusting after their Maxell Holyoke-Hirsch “Chongo” Bong, with a very au courant abstract pattern.

ASCHE

So my usual travel method (a crumpled Ziploc bag, possibly sealed with a hair tie and packed into my makeup pouch, LOL) was ready for an upgrade. ASCHE to the rescue- classy leather pouches with a scent blocking, snap in lining for your goodies. Remember that episode of Broad City where she travels with her stash….up there? Let’s find a better way, ya’ll. ASCHE pouches come in several sizes and colors and are made in NYC (holler!).

Van der Pop

I’ve been keeping an eye on Van der Pop for quite some time and have been excited to see them expand their offering from jars to rolling papers to bags and accessories. Their fashionable founder, April Pride, has perfected the stash jar, using German Miron violet glass, which allows non-harmful UV rays to enter and enhance your bud, perfecting the humidity level and keeping the goods fresh for up to a year. Plus they come with fun different categories to organize your strains, like SEX, PARTY and SLEEP. Honorable mention to the VdP Grinder Card, an ingenious credit card look-a-like for grinding on the go.

Mister Green

Full disclosure: I want literally everything from this shop. A true lifestyle brand, they curate an incredible collection of clothing, apothecary, vintage and accessories. They’ve released some exclusive pieces by Los Angeles ceramic studio Eunbi, including this “Wake & Bake Cup” which besides being functional, is just really fucking pretty. Perfect for the minimal stoner in your life (or, you).

LEVO

Ever tried making magic brownies at home? It’s a long, messy, smelly undertaking- but no longer. LEVO was founded by Chrissy Bellman, who wanted to create a simple, safe method of oil and butter infusion so people could cook with cannabis at home without the mess. With sleek touchscreen buttons, dishwasher safe components and automatic straining/filtration, LEVO is the first kitchen appliance designed for infusing with herbs (yes any herb; from cannabis to basil to lavender to vanilla). Get creative with infused body scrubs and salad dressings- there’s a world beyond brownies out there…

Crystal Pipes

Like peanut butter and jelly, crystals and cannabis just belong together. Upgrade that dirty pipe you bought in college on St. Marks for a classier piece. These are available at a few different places, but the prettiest I’ve seen are from Tokyo Smoke, a beautiful café & shop in Toronto with shops in the US opening soon.

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• Trending: Biomimicry, Changing Attitudes Poised to Revolutionize Apparel Sector, Sustainable Brands.com

Scientists have figured out a way to manufacture fibers manufactured from of 98% water and 2% silica/cellulose. These fibers are stronger than synthetics but non-toxic and far less energy intensive to make. The Wonder Woman of plant based materials, basically.

• Marie Claire's fist ever sustainability issue, Marie Claire
• Vogue Paris Goes Faux with Gisele Bündchen and We’re in Love,Peta
• CEO’s Mental health day email goes viral, LinkedIn
• The Death of Retail As We Know It Is Upon Us, SurfaceMag
• Bonobos $12m in seed funding for personalized Vitamin experience, Inc.com
• Teen Abortions Surged In Texas After Republicans Defunded Planned Parenthood, HuffPost

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While most “Made in the USA” clothes use textiles from overseas, a recent story on PBS told the story of a textile company in North Carolina that is trying to change that, making clothes with cotton actually grown in North Carolina. Can you imagine? All sarcasm aside, it's actually a totally revolutionary thing at this point in the US.

After NAFTA, 80% of clothing production moved overseas, leaving hundreds of textile workers in North Carolina, and other states, out of work. While lots of cotton is actually still grown in the states and business is booming, most of it is then popped into shipping containers and shipped overseas to become cloth. Just another ridiculous example of fashion's unnecessarily convoluted and wasteful supply chain. But Textile factory owner Eric Henry is trying to turn that around, even creating a website where you can track the exact location of the farm where the cotton in your clothes was grown using the colors thread used in your seams.

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by Stephanie Wilson

Unless you've been living under a rock, you may have noticed the rise of zero waste living trends on the internet. However, it might be mystifying to you how bloggers get the waste they've produced in an entire year into a single mason jar. And depending on the reliability or even existence of public recycling and/or composting programs where you live, the journey to zero waste could very well be an arduous one!

To help you on your way to becoming zero waste famous, here are some items that can realistically be incorporated into your daily routine that can cut down on waste. You can pick and choose which ones work for you, but I'd suggest focusing on reducing ever-present and environmentally devastating plastic more than anything else!

Coffee Cup - Chances are you're already used to a regular caffeine run. But how often are those toss away cups recyclable? Reusable cups have come a long way, with options in stainless steel as well as glass, and a rainbow of colors. Some chains offer a discount on your beverage if you use your own reusable tumbler, making this the most painless change to make!

Water Bottle - Disposable water bottles are some of the most notorious offenders when it comes to waste. The plastic they're made of does not break down once in a landfill, and they are so unnecessary when you think about all the fun colors and patterns that reusable water come in these days. Another excuse to accessorize? Yes, please! Bonus: some double as hot beverage containers as well, so you can carry one instead of two.

Grocery Totes & Produce bags - Cotton totes have been around as long as stores have been charging for plastic bags, and they are essential for any shopping trip. But if you're hitting up the grocery store and want to avoid plastic, be sure to grab some produce bags as well. If they're made of nylon, just be sure to hand wash them, as your washer can be a surprising source of waste.

Mason Jars - Mason jars are super versatile. From holding the minuscule amount of waste you'll be producing to a frosty drink, mason jars are the cornerstone of zero waste living. Another way to reduce waste while at the grocery store is to buy in bulk, and fill those jars up with dry goods. Some bulk sections and stores even accommodate the extra weight of your jars, and sell staples such as nut butters in bulk as well. Time to stock up!

Bar soap - All those plastic bottles that personal care products come in are not good for the environment. One easy way to reduce your reliance on them is to switch from body wash to bar soap. Use it up and there's nothing to toss. For advanced zero waste living, seek out shampoo bars as well. Less bottles = less waste!

Cloth pads/menstrual cup - Once in awhile I think about all of the feminine hygiene products that must be used up and tossed every month and it boggles. my. mind. I mean, think about how many the average woman uses in a month, and then times that BY MILLIONS! Each month! I can't actually hold the number in my mind -- it must be that big. So while switching to reusable products might seem like a small switch, it must make a massive dent in the amount of stuff headed towards landfills!

Household paper - If you're loving the zero waste lifestyle and want to take it to the next level, think about other sources of waste in your home. Paper towel can be replaced with cloth napkins (and make each meal feel super fancy), cotton pads or balls can be switched for reusable facial rounds. And if you're feeling super brave, switch facial tissues for good old fashioned handkerchiefs!

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